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I have to be naked at school and at home.”My sister bristled at the attention of the boys, but at the same time, she didn’t leave the living room. Erica loved attention and had dreams of being a rock superstar one day.It was one of the reasons I kept walking into the living room with the camera and narrating her “Rockumentary.”“My naked sister and future Queen of Rock was sitting on the couch with the Jenkins Town Posse,” I said.My brother and his friends chanted “JTP!” in unison.“In the corner, brown noser!” my sister pointed.“What, why?” I asked as I paused my camera.“You know why!” she pointed to my crotch. I wasn’t sure if she could see my boner or if she was bluffing, but I had a stiffie.“Balls!” I said as I removed my camera from my shoulder and stood in the corner.“Wow, what was that?” Matt asked in shock.“She can spank her brother or make him stand in the corner if he gets a chubby,” Naked Rob explained.“Spank?” Erica asked with a pleasant surprise.“Yeah, but I thought it. What with working only one day a year there is ample time to dress up whenever you feel like it, and the elves are another species; they could care less what we crazy humans do in our spare time. What other job would allow you to roam the world in perfect security? You could go to work naked as a jaybird if you could stand the cold air in the sleigh, because no one would ever see you up close. If you were spotted from the ground no one would be able to tell what you were wearing, and we all know pilots have long since stopped reporting UFOs because no one believes the reports anyway. The reindeer can't talk, and Mrs. Santa either didn't know or didn't care. After all, it would be no trouble to fit a change of clothes into the toy bag and let Rudolph take the helm for a few minutes while you were changing. Other than hitting an air pocket while applying makeup the job was simplicity itself.Santa began to smooth her skirt and I emerged from my reverie and remembered I was the host here.
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